objekt villain chair

I am aware that as we come to the end of December, some of you may be in the corner of your lounge, trying to resuscitate your visa card. I could pander to this buy writing an article on the wonder of Tesco's Value Foil. But there is not much that can be said apart from, good value and shiney.

You don't want that. You want inspiration, don't you? (nod your heads). I could suggest 10 ways to cook beans and rice, or I could write about a £4.500 chair that instantly turns you into a bad-ass.

The Objekt page is not a shoulder for you to cry on. It is a literary display unit for awesomeness.

You're all christmassed out, what more could you want, you already unwrapped your wildest dreams on the 25th (Socks and Cadburys Heroes). What else is there?

The Villain Chair, that's what. Yeah, I said it, The Villain Chair.

If you have switched on the post Christmas TV and glimpsed the gleeful family of five year plan furniture hunters choosing family 3-pc suites you will have seen the plethora of patterns, cushions and boredom.

Take my advice. Buy the Villain Chair and make your children sit on the floor. It looks like a fantastic leather bound cross-section of the worlds biggest Kinder Egg.

I know you are looking at it right now and saying yes, I concur, I want that chair. The cost may seem large but consider this, if you had the villain chair, you could sit for hours planning world domination. That must be a lucrative choice of employment. You will re-coup your cost in no time.

If you don't own a cat that you can use as an evil-doers stroking prop, then venture outside and borrow someone elses cat. They may call it theft, but it's what you do now.

I have two leather sofas capable of seating 6 people. I would put them on Gumtree in a heart beat for this bad boy. Who needs six seats when you are a bad ass (thats not the reason why you don't need six seats Gemma)

Start your year with new aspirations. Buy the chair and all the other details will fall into place when you are sitting watching Countdown.

For optimum effect, clear your front room of all other furniture and leave it with the Villain Chair, a portable stereo, a copy of Prokofievs Montagues and Capulets and an AA roadmap of Britain pinned to the wall. When visitors arrive, start the music, dim the lights, and bellow "Enter" in an over bearing tone of voice. Your Grandmother will love it, I promise.

Be a Villain. Buy the chair. Don't be a villain without the chair. Your grandmother will not be impressed with that.

For villainous purchase/envy, please click the link below.

Over and out.